Welts on Your Butt a Calf Could Suck
Stories of Faith, Family, and a Farm Kid’s Life
“Working livestock brings out the best in people. And by ‘best,’ I mean a full spectrum of emotions ranging from quiet prayer to loud, creative vocabulary — often in the span of minutes.”
About the Book
In the quiet margins of farm chores and Sunday gatherings, a thousand stories took root. Some made us laugh. Some made us stronger. Welts On Your Butt a Calf Could Suck is a collection of memories about work, wonder, and the stubborn joy of growing up under wide skies and gravel roads.With humor, heart, and a few unforgettable turns of phrase, Tom Brand captures a way of life that still echoes across the Midwest — a place where Kool-Aid had to be sweet, fences had to be straight, and every chore carried a lesson bigger than the job itself.These are stories of faith, family, and the everyday grit that shapes a life. Whether you grew up with chores or city streets, there's something here that feels like coming home.
Preview the Collection
Download three full stories from Welts on Your Butt a Calf Could Suck and experience a slice of life, laughter, and lasting lessons from the heart of rural America.
“I can’t recall any pictures we ever took of the hog operation...
But honestly, the memory is sharper than any photograph.
The smell of straw, the feel of a pitchfork handle, the sound of piglets nursing — that kind of memory stays with you.”
About the Author
Tom Brand grew up south of Hopkins, Missouri, where livestock, gravel roads, and a little stubborn humor shaped his earliest stories. A farm broadcaster turned community advocate, he spent decades telling the real stories of rural America through the airwaves — and now, through the written word.When he’s not writing, Tom is usually chasing new adventures with his wife Beth, cheering for his grandkids, or remembering to close the farm gate after himself. Welts On Your Butt a Calf Could Suck is his first collection of published stories.
A properly calibrated rooster will crow precisely when the news begins.
For extreme cases, whisper tomorrow’s forecast into his left ear. If that fails... rooster noodle soup.”
Thank You!
Thank you for visiting — and for supporting independent storytelling.Every story shared keeps a little more light in the world, and a little more laughter on the gravel roads.
Each direct purchase will be signed by the author (with an actual pen, not a stamp). Ideal for gifts, keepsakes, or if you just want ink from someone who’s cleaned out a hog shed.
Already ordered on Amazon? No problem — bring it to an upcoming event and I’ll sign it gladly. Dates to be announced soon.
© 2025 Tom Brand | Richardson & Company Press
